21st Century Bogatyr: Bacon & Kaddish for the Yidden aboard the Shliach

Dietary laws and customs have long been central to Jewish identity. What we eat and what we won't eat is a very important factor in defining who we are. This was certainly true on Planet Earth, where Yidden lived as a tiny minority among those with other sorts of laws and customs.

On the Home Planet, the flesh of the pig, of all the traif foods, was notoriously perceived as the most traif of all. The pig epitomized everything about what is unkosher, unacceptable, and unworthy. So much so that an inferior product, for instance, would be called chazerei. One might say, for instance, “Give me something that is top shelf and not that chazerei off the bottom shelf.”

The pig, it has been suggested, was particularly despised by Yidden of Earth because of its general outward appearance. Because of the pig's split hoof, it certainly looks to be kosher. However, swine do not ruminate, that is, chew their cud as goats, sheep, and cows do. So, it could be perceived that pigs were going out of their way to fool Yidden, by appearing to be pious but actually being impure.

When the first Yidden from Planet Earth arrived on Planet Birobidzhan, they found there two large mammals that could potentially provide nourishment for the settlers.

Large herds of animals resembling the wild bison that once roamed widely in North America turned out to be an incredible disappointment for the newly-arrived Yidden. The rabbis determined that despite the close resemblance to kosher animals of the Home Planet, these beasts were, in fact, traif.

They also found on Planet Birobidzhan animals that very much resembled, in appearance and behavior, wild boars. Because of this appearance, the Yidden instinctively presumed that these pig-like creatures were as traif as those of the Home Planet, and, for quite some time, didn't consider eating them.

It took the Yidden a while to determine that the wild boars of Planet Birobidzhan chew their cuds and are, in fact, when slaughtered according to tradition, quite kosher. However, once this discovery was made and confirmed by the rabbis and sochets, the Yidden of Planet Birobidzhan quickly developed a taste for the chazer's flesh. Ham was soon a holiday standard and bacon became a breakfast staple as well as a planetwide comfort food.

Needless to say, the larder of the Shliach included a significant amount of bacon, a Planet Birobidzhan kosher standard. There was enough bacon in stock calculated for the very long voyage. However, those calculations didn't take into account the effect such a voyage would have on the emotional needs of those aboard and their need to assuage their melancholy with ample quantities of bacon cooked and consumed. The further that the Shliach drifted from Planet Birobidzhan, the more the smell of bacon frying wafted through the ship, particularly after the radio broadcasts from Planet Birobidzhan ceased.

The ship barrelled onward towards the wormhole and the very uncertain reunion with the Home Planet. The shared sense of discomfort spread like a contagious disease. Everyone who had signed on for this flight understood that it was likely that some of the Shiluchim would not survive the long voyage, particularly the older men.

The first death which occurred barely two years into the flight, however, was not among the oldest. By every indication, the death was a heart attack, although it very well could be described as a death from a broken heart, the overwhelming sadness of loss of home and connection.

This first death placed a particularly heavy burden on the remaining Shiluchim. While the possibility of deaths in transit had been anticipated from the inception of the voyage, no clear plans for the inevitability were in place.

The rabbis of Planet Birobidzhan had advised that proper burial in soil is by far preferred so if a death were to occur near the destination, it would be best to bring the deceased to Planet Earth. If storage of the corpse wasn't possible, this left the deep space equivalent of a burial at sea as a far inferior - but only other - option. Essentially, the rabbis offered moral ambiguity and placed the unenviable decision in the hands of those on board. Jettisoning of the corpse was the only true choice and that was clearly in conflict with Halachic principles and every tradition.

The decision to cast a fellow Yid into the void was a spiritual burden on all the remaining Shiluchim. Perhaps that strain was a factor that contributed to the timing of the several subsequent deaths in fairly quick succession. There were a couple of more heart attacks, two suspected suicides, and one death of uncertain and possibly suspicious circumstances.

There was no way to inform the families of the deceased of their passing. The Shiluchim that remained mourned for their comrades and recited Kaddish in the stead of the deceased's close blood relationships left behind and unaware on Planet Birobidzhan.

Needless to say, the precious supplies of Planet Birobidzhan bacon were significantly diminished. The stock of schnapps also began to run low. Shabbos wine was, by necessity, strictly rationed because there was still a long way to go and the available emotional balms were fewer every day.

The Luftmenschen of Planet Birobidzhan is a work of speculative fiction, a future history of social and science fiction. This is a story of displacement, exile, and entrapment by fate. This is also the saga of the few that strive to break free from those entanglements.

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The Luftmenschen of Planet Birobidzhan is now available wherever books are sold!

You can also receive the book at a discount through this direct purchase link:

https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?params=6TtjgjBTrFtcK4tvxeCbUN4hTvy9rOoAq8aeNsNXURN&fbclid=Iwb21leARMFaJjbGNrBEwVn2V4dG4DYWVtAjExAHNydGMGYXBwX2lkDDM1MDY4NTUzMTcyOAABHrxhbWk19XnCLJF0awwlNePaA-cpTzEaeq0WHEWrHbuOn1AKzr5sKtJWBto5_aem_4YUtLq76r1YSAj0-cFVANA

This is a continuation of the story of the people of Planet Birobidzhan and Planet Shney as told in my novel, The Luftmenschen of Planet Birobidzhan.

Here are the links to the rest of the story as posted so far:

1 - The Miracle of Vilna on Planet Shney

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2025/01/the-miracle-of-vilna-on-planet-shney.html

2 - Nes and Shprintza Freyda Spin the Dreidl on Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2025/01/nes-and-shprintza-freyda-spin-dreidl-on.html

3 - From Shloflozikayt to the Vision of a Marvelous Shtot

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2025/02/from-shloflozikayt-to-vision-of.html