21st Century Bogatyr

Monday, January 9, 2023

The Beaches and Coastal Shtetls of Planet Birobidzhan

by Zvi Baranoff

The guest house that Tamar had chosen was clean and airy. The room was brightly painted and pleasant. The bed was comfortable. The ceiling fan cooled the room. Yet, Tamar could not sleep.

Tamar turned one way and then another. There was no position that allowed for comfortable sleep. She felt like the princess in the ancient tale mit a bebl under her mattress. Something infinitesimal and unseen was so disruptive that sleeping in the guest house was impossible.

When exhaustion would start to supersede discomfort and Tamar's eyelids grew heavy, she would then hear the voices, arguing. Tamar would bolt straight up, looking around for Baruch and Shmuli.

All around her, there was darkness and the room was empty. The bickering voices would fade and then go silent. Again, Tamar would try to sleep but rest never came.

Tamar had nearly given up all hope for sleep. She went to the vashzimmer and splashed her face with water. She looked at herself in the mirror and hardly recognized the reflection. She was very tired and felt very much alone.

Tamar stepped outside and gazed at the view of unfamiliar constellations that the sky south of the equator offered her. The air was balmy and filled with the fragrances of a myriad of exotic tropical flowers.

In the courtyard of the guest house, slung between two trees, there was a hammock that invited rest and offered an unencumbered view of the sky. There, Tamar managed a few hours of sleep, temporarily freed from the bickering voices for a little while until sunrise.

On checking out, Tamar asked the balabusta of the guest house if there was a place in Eilat where a hammock could be purchased. After some hemming and hawing and a bit of negotiation, the innkeeper sold Tamar the hammock that she had slept in.

Tamar wrapped the hammock up and tied it to her rucksack. She went from there to a small grocery and then Tamar set out tsufus down the goat path leaving town to explore the Tropics of Birobidzhan.

There is very little traffic along the goat paths that connect the coastal shtetls of the Tropics of Birobidzhan, especially after Purim. The coastal dwellers prefer to not travel. When they feel compelled to go up or down the coast, they will choose to do so by boat.

The goat paths are used to some extent by the more adventurous of tourists, in season. Most outside visitors, however, rarely explore much past the stadt of Eilat, where there are an array of facilities that cater to tourism.

The paths are also used by small children when going to, perhaps, the next closest village to visit friends or family. The older children, like their elders, prefer to go by boat.

When entering the shtetls by goat paths, one is unlikely to see any signage whatsoever. Where the towns are linked by goat paths, that part of town is thought of as the outer fringe or backside of the shtetl. This is where one might find a dump, slaughterhouse or some limited and fairly primitive industries.

The oceanside and dockage are generally perceived as the front of the shtetl. On the dock one is likely to see a colorful sign with an exotic town name such as Tangiers, Marrakesh, Caracas and Habana.

Between the tiny shtetls that dot the coastline are some of the most incredibly spectacular beaches to be found on any planet. The sand colors on these beaches vary from pink to peach to lavender. Tropical foliage borders the sands. The warm waters are frequented by large schools of colorful fish. Birds with a cacophony of sounds and colors perch in the trees and fly above in large flocks.

The beaches remain beautiful because of their remoteness. The beaches are only accessible tsufus, and most people will not walk for miles to visit even the most spectacular beach.

Tamar mostly camped on these beaches that are between the outlying shtetls. She would string her hammock between trees or sleep directly on the soft sand dunes, staying in one place for two or three nights.

Camping provided some relief from the sounds of arguing that haunted Tamar's nights. She began to believe that the struggle was taking place within her womb.

Tamar rarely saw another person between the shtetls and she had the beaches to herself. She would swim naked and sun herself on the soft sand.

Then, after a while, she would walk to the next shtetl, where she would seek out necessities.

On the whole, households in the Tropics of Birobidzhan grow most of their own vegetables, raise a few animals for meat, bake their own bread, and either do their own fishing or buy fish directly from the fishermen. In most shtetls, there is a small shop that offers a very limited array of consumer goods and a few groceries.

Market days on mantik aun danershtag provides more choices than the tiny stores. Tamar preferred to arrive at a shtetl on a Monday or a Thursday. On these days fresh vegetables are available and often baked goods.

Tamar rarely stayed overnight in any of the shtetls, although there were the occasional exception. There are few accommodations to speak of. Some of the town folk have an extra room that they will offer to rent to the rare traveler passing through.

When Tamar entered a shtetl, she was often greeted by one of the balabustas, and she was offered a home-cooked meal and perhaps a place to spend the night. Inevitably, there was a son, brother or grandson in need of a wife and the balabusta set right into matchmaking.

Tamar was not looking for a husband. Some of the young men of the shtetls were pleasant enough perhaps for a dalliance but none were the sort that she could imagine forming a long-term association with, much less a marriage.

Even after Tamar's abdomen began to swell and her pregnancy was no longer easily disguised, the matchmaking efforts did not abate much until she became so large that her gait turned into a wobble.

In the early evening, on the docks of these coastal shtetls, the fishermen without wives and children to go home to would gather to feed and entertain themselves. They would cook fish heads and other less marketable parts from the day's catch along with potatoes and peppers into a thick, seasoned, savory stew that they call jambalaya.

The fishermen all served themselves from their communal pot and drank schnapps profusely late into the night under the equatorial stars.

The musicians among the fishermen would play their accordions, harmonicas and Jews Harps.

When Tamar felt a desire for social interactions, the docks among the fishermen is where she felt the most comfortable. She would open her violin case and join in with the amateur klezmorim and was always welcomed and also well fed.

Tamar's pregnancy was quite advanced by the time autumn approached. Getting around on her own, tsufus, became significantly more difficult and the increased number of tourists entering the region made the Tropics of Birobidzhan less satisfying to her than before. Tamar determined that it was time for a change.

Tamar found her way back to Eilat and traveled on the ferry to New New York.

Tamar disembarked the ferry in Seaside Mea Shearim. From the distance, she watched Baruch and Shmuli descend the steps of the yeshiva where they were still students. She saw them walking towards their apartment, gesticulating and arguing. Tamar smiled as she watched them walking away, unaware of her presence.

Tamar boarded a streetcar by the docks and rode it to Tsenter Shtot. She had enough time to go to her bank and make a withdrawal before heading to the train station. She got herself a sleeper car on the train to First Landing and arrived at her family home relatively rested early the next morning, a very rare congruity of efficiency for Planet Birobidzhan.

This is not a Jewish story. It is, however, a story about Jews. One does not need to be Jewish to read this tale any more than one needs to be a Hobbit or an Elf to read Lord of the Rings.

This story is a work of fiction. The setting for this tale is in the distant future, on the far away Planet Birobidzhan. This planet was settled by Jewish exiles from Planet Earth.

The population of Planet Birobidzhan has been cut off from the Home Planet for a long time. They have developed their own unique culture, traditions and linguistics.

The language spoken on Planet Birobidzhan is primarily Yiddish. I have sprinkled a significant number of Yiddish words and phrases throughout the telling of the tale. I also refer to various Jewish religious and cultural touchstones.

To make this story more accessible, I have included a glossary of words and phrases in Yiddish and Hebrew that are used as well as some explanations of religious terms and holidays.

I hope that readers find this to be useful.

The link to the Glossary is here:

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/a-useful-guide-glossary-to-planet.html?m=1

פּלאַנעט ביראָבידזשאַן

Do you want to read more about Planet Birobidzhan? Here are all the installments so far, in the order that they were posted. Just click your way through the story!

1 On A Planet Safe for Yidden

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/on-planet-safe-for-yidden.html

2 Yenne Velt: A History of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/yenne-velt-history-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

3 Another Globe, Perhaps?

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/another-globe-perhaps.html

4 Bereshis: The Transport & Transformation of the Founders

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/bereshis-transport-transformation-of.html

5 The Town of First Landing

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/the-town-of-first-landing.html

6 A Personal History of an Early Settler on Planet Birobidzhan

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/05/a-personal-history-of-early-settler-on.html

7 Chickens, Jews Harps & Cronyism

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/cronyism.html

8 Dovid's Neshumeh

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/dovids-neshumeh.html

9 The Octogenarian and the Youngster

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/the-octogenarian-and-youngster.html

10 An Otherworldly Havdalah

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/an-otherworldly-havdalah.html

11 The Courtship & Marriage of Bathseba

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-courtship-marriage-of-bathseba.html

12 A Job, an Apartment & Two Honeymoons

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/a-job-apartment-two-honeymoons.html

13 The Pathway Into the Stars

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-pathway-into-stars.html

14 Abi Guzunt

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/abi-guzunt.html

15 A Dozen or So…

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/10/a-dozen-or-so.html

16 Tamar's Sketchbook

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/tamars-sketchbook.html?m=1

17 An Apologetic Interlude in the Galactic Tale

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/an-apologetic-interlude-in-galactic-tale.html?m=1

18 Tamar's Mushrooms

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/tamars-mushrooms.html?m=1

19 Intergalactic Travel Can Not Be Done on the Cheap

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/intergalactic-travel-can-not-be-done-on.html?m=1

20 Unauthorized Fire on Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/unauthorized-fire-on-planet-birobidzhan.html?m=1

21 Tamar and the Klezmorim of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/tamar-and-klezmorim-of-planet.html

22 Heresy, Flimflam and Death

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/heresy-flimflam-and-death.html?m=1

23 On a Distant Planet, An Apartment in the City by the Sea

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/on-distant-planet-apartment-in-city-by.html?m=1

24 The Girl with a Fiddle on Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-girl-with-fiddle-on-planet.html

25 Tamar and the Scholars of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/tamar-and-scholars-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

26 The Tropics of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-tropics-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

27 The Beaches and Coastal Shtetls of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-beaches-and-coastal-shtetls-of.html

28 A Pre-launch Reunion

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/a-pre-launch-reunion.html

29 The Launch Was Imminent

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-launch-was-imminent.html

30 Liftoff Into the Unknown

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/liftoff-into-unknown.html

31 Across the Void, Down a Wormhole & Into the Snow

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/across-void-down-wormhole-into-snow.html

32 Flourishing on Planet Shney

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/flourishing-on-planet-shney.html

Friday, January 6, 2023

The Tropics of Planet Birobidzhan

by Zvi Baranoff

The streets of every neighborhood of New New York were raucous with the celebration of Purim throughout the night. The sounds of the drunken revelers were everywhere. The celebratory noise rippled through Tamar's window above the bakery until nearly dawn.

Tamar was content to be sober, by herself, and in her apartment. Tamar stayed at home, reading, drinking herbal tea, playing her fiddle, and resting. She went to bed early.

The whole next day the city seemed to be suffering from a collective hangover. The remains of the festivities littered the streets. Bits of clothing and gauze were everywhere.

Overnight, some alleyways had been turned into temporary improvised urinals. The smell of piss lingered. Some people fell asleep in doorways or on the sidewalk. A few were still sleeping in these odd places long into the day.

Businesses around the city opened late the day after the Purim festivities, or not at all. The bakery below Tamar's apartment opened late and closed early.

Tamar was grateful for the pleasant fragrance of breads and cakes baking. She had become accustomed to those smells and would certainly miss that when she moved. She was very glad for the platter of croissants that the baker's apprentice delivered to her that morning.

The following morning, Tamar rose very early. She packed her rucksack and took the time to tidy the apartment before leaving it for good. When the bakery opened its door, Tamar returned the apartment key to Miriam. The two women exchanged hugs. Tamar left with a few fresh baked rolls added to her rucksack and walked towards the docks.

Tamar's strolling was casual and pleasant. Tamar felt something akin to nostalgia as she walked past the various corners where she had played her violin, the Herbal Apothecary where she worked, the cafes that she had frequented and the yeshiva where Baruch and Shmuli studied.

Tamar arrived at the ferry station with time to spare. Tamar bought her ticket for the boat trip to Eilat and then ordered tea from the cafe. She sat at an outdoor table on the sidewalk adjacent to the docks. The tea was served shtetl style, in a glass with a sugar cube on the side.

The travel time by boat from New New York to Eilat is around three hours, depending on the weather and sea conditions. The sea is calm most of the time, making it generally a very pleasant trip.

New New York is semi tropical but as one heads south on the ferry into the true tropics, the transition becomes evident. Temperatures rise. The texture of the air changes. Colors become more vibrant. Along the way, traveling on the ferry, the warmth of New New York is replaced by the balminess of the Tropics.

The Tropics of Birobidzhan are sparsely populated. The Tropics consist of the small stadt - actually not much bigger than a shtetl - of Eilat and a smattering of very small and semi isolated coastal shtetls where Yidden scratch out a leben by fishing. One can travel between the various shtetls on a network of goat paths or by small boat.

There are no large fishing fleets to be found. There is little industry or commerce to speak of. The region has a small agricultural sector that specializes in growing etrogim, the citrus fruit that is used for Sukkos. Other than that, there are very few commercial farming endeavors. Most food is raised in family gardens. There is no mining and no manufacturing to speak of.

Eilat and its vicinity have some tourist draw. There are hotels and restaurants that cater primarily to visitors. Visitors come to the Tropics mainly in the winter. After Purim, travel to Eilat falls off. The ferry was not crowded at all and that was certainly the way Tamar preferred it.

Tamar stayed on the upper deck of the ferry for most of the trip. She had a fair degree of privacy and an incredible view. The sea was nearly without waves. The water was a beautiful aqua color.

A breeze blew through Tamar's unraveled hair. The sun was shining on her shoulders when she removed her shaw and on her legs when she adjusted the folds of her skirt and stretched out. Tamar soaked it all in.

The Tropics of Birobidzhan have far more Sephardic and Mizrahi influence than the rest of Planet Birobidzhan. This first becomes evident to visitors when eating in the local restaurants of Eilat. The food served there is spicier than what is found elsewhere on Planet Birobidzhan. There are also, one might note, some variants in the Sephardic approach to Kashrut laws and customs, particularly concerning Pesach.

Throughout the Tropics the mezuzah on the outer doors of most buildings is perpendicular rather than at an angle, which is the planetary norm. Most buildings in the Tropics, in addition to a mezuzah, display a hamsa to ward off evil. Additionally, the ceilings of porches are usually painted blue as this is believed to help protect a home from evil spirits.

There is a local accent in the Tropics of Birobidzhan with some unique pronunciation. In some cases, the accent is placed on a different syllable. In the Tropics, there is a tendency to sometimes use a "t" sound to replace the "s" or "sh" that is more common on the rest of Planet Birobidzhan. On the whole, however, the shprakh spoken there is not incredibly different from the shprakh of the rest of the planet.

There are quite a few Spanish and Arabic words that spice up the Yiddish spoken in the Tropics of Birobidzhan. At times, the use of one of these words denotes a very different meaning from the more common Yiddish words with the same definition.

If one is speaking about getting something done "tomorrow" one can say either morgan or mañana. If one is told morgan in the Tropics, then the speaker may actually mean tomorrow. If, however, one is told mañana it means that maybe tomorrow or the next day or maybe next week or perhaps not at all. The Tropics of Birobidzhan are called the Land of Mañana for good reason.

The ferry arrived in Eilat in the early afternoon. The city seemed sleepy, as if just waking from a nap.

Most businesses in the Tropics close mid day for an extended lunch and rest in the shade. The local term for this extended afternoon break is siesta. This derives from the Spanish word meaning a nap. Indeed, the arrival of the ferry from New New York coincides with the conclusion of the siesta.

The first thing Tamar did upon arrival was to rent a cozy room at a guest house. She left her rucksack and violin in her room and headed out to see Eilat unencumbered.

Tamar walked about, looking at the colorfully painted homes and the lush gardens accented with splendid tropical flowers. She ate a seafood meal in a quiet little restaurant. The dining room had windows that opened to the street and a ceiling fan that circulated the balmy air. She watched the sun set into the ocean sitting on the dock.

Tamar was enamored by theTropics.

This is not a Jewish story. It is, however, a story about Jews. One does not need to be Jewish to read this tale any more than one needs to be a Hobbit or an Elf to read Lord of the Rings.

This story is a work of fiction. The setting for this tale is in the distant future, on the far away Planet Birobidzhan. This planet was settled by Jewish exiles from Planet Earth.

The population of Planet Birobidzhan has been cut off from the Home Planet for a long time. They have developed their own unique culture, traditions and linguistics.

To make this story more accessible, I have included a glossary of words and phrases in Yiddish and Hebrew that are used as well as some explanations of religious terms and holidays.

I hope that readers find this to be useful.

The link to the Glossary is here:

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/a-useful-guide-glossary-to-planet.html?m=1

פּלאַנעט ביראָבידזשאַן

Do you want to read more about Planet Birobidzhan? Here are all the installments so far, in the order that they were posted. Just click your way through the story!

1 On A Planet Safe for Yidden

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/on-planet-safe-for-yidden.html

2 Yenne Velt: A History of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/yenne-velt-history-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

3 Another Globe, Perhaps?

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/another-globe-perhaps.html

4 Bereshis: The Transport & Transformation of the Founders

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/bereshis-transport-transformation-of.html

5 The Town of First Landing

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/the-town-of-first-landing.html

6 A Personal History of an Early Settler on Planet Birobidzhan

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/05/a-personal-history-of-early-settler-on.html

7 Chickens, Jews Harps & Cronyism

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/cronyism.html

8 Dovid's Neshumeh

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/dovids-neshumeh.html

9 The Octogenarian and the Youngster

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/the-octogenarian-and-youngster.html

10 An Otherworldly Havdalah

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/an-otherworldly-havdalah.html

11 The Courtship & Marriage of Bathseba

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-courtship-marriage-of-bathseba.html

12 A Job, an Apartment & Two Honeymoons

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/a-job-apartment-two-honeymoons.html

13 The Pathway Into the Stars

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-pathway-into-stars.html

14 Abi Guzunt

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/abi-guzunt.html

15 A Dozen or So…

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/10/a-dozen-or-so.html

16 Tamar's Sketchbook

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/tamars-sketchbook.html?m=1

17 An Apologetic Interlude in the Galactic Tale

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/an-apologetic-interlude-in-galactic-tale.html?m=1

18 Tamar's Mushrooms

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/tamars-mushrooms.html?m=1

19 Intergalactic Travel Can Not Be Done on the Cheap

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/intergalactic-travel-can-not-be-done-on.html?m=1

20 Unauthorized Fire on Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/unauthorized-fire-on-planet-birobidzhan.html?m=1

21 Tamar and the Klezmorim of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/tamar-and-klezmorim-of-planet.html

22 Heresy, Flimflam and Death

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/heresy-flimflam-and-death.html?m=1

23 On a Distant Planet, An Apartment in the City by the Sea

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/on-distant-planet-apartment-in-city-by.html?m=1

24 The Girl with a Fiddle on Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-girl-with-fiddle-on-planet.html

25 Tamar and the Scholars of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/tamar-and-scholars-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

26 The Tropics of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-tropics-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

27 The Beaches and Coastal Shtetls of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-beaches-and-coastal-shtetls-of.html

28 A Pre-launch Reunion

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/a-pre-launch-reunion.html

29 The Launch Was Imminent

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-launch-was-imminent.html

30 Liftoff Into the Unknown

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/liftoff-into-unknown.html

31 Across the Void, Down a Wormhole & Into the Snow

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/across-void-down-wormhole-into-snow.html

32 Flourishing on Planet Shney

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/flourishing-on-planet-shney.html

Thursday, January 5, 2023

Tamar and the Scholars of Planet Birobidzhan

by Zvi Baranoff

Tea at Tamar's every mantik after shacharis became ritualistic for Baruch and Shmuli. The tea time often stretched into lunch. Sometimes the yeshiva bochers would daven mincha aun maariv at the apartment above the bakery.

Tamar introduced them to a variety of herbal teas that she brought home from the Herbal Apothecary as well as serving the more traditional tea that they were used to.

The yeshiva bochers were always a bit hungry and a few cookies or a shtikel of babka were well deserved calories and nutrients. In Tamar's apartment, there were always fresh pastries, provided by the landlord from the bakery below.

The dates that Tamar served were truly wonderful, a mechayeh. Sometimes, instead of dates, Tamar offered majoun, made from dates, nuts and hashish. Tamar's teas were an exotic experience. On special occasions there was schnapps.

Once in a while Tamar would tell her friends that she had received movie tickets from the club or dropped into her violin case while she was busking. On those occasions, the three friends would get together in the evening and walk to the nearby Bijou Theater.

At the movie theater, Tamar insisted on sitting between the two yeshiva bochers. In the darkened theater, Tamar would kick her shoes off and brush a stockinged foot casually against one or the other of her friends. Tamar would lean her shoulders against each of the bochers while passing the tub of popcorn.

Sometimes, in that darkened movie theater, Tamar grabbed one of the bochers by the knee when something dramatic happened on the screen or slid her palm down an inner thigh if the film was suspenseful. They each assumed themselves to be the only recipient of this sort of special attention. Both were too polite to mention such to the other.

Purim, of course, is on the fourteenth day of the month of Adar. On Planet Birobidzhan it is celebrated with a broad abandonment of social norms. This is all the more so in New New York, partially due to the subtropical latitude and balmy weather.

Even before the beginning of Adar, a degree of excitement and anticipation can be felt throughout the city. Majoun is sold in every grocery and neighborhood store. Masks and materials for costumes are everywhere. The annual Purim party in the streets of New New York is the biggest party of the year, on the entire planet.

The rabbinic authorities of New New York issue their annual admonishments concerning the holiday, discouraging public nudity and debauchery. The heads of each of the yeshivas also offer strict warnings to all of their students. The admonishments and warnings have no effect on how Purim is celebrated.

Tamar's anticipation of the celebration was amplified by her various undisclosed plans. Every aspect involved precise timing.

Tamar intended to leave New New York immediately after the holiday. She had told no one of of this beforehand. Shortly after the First of Adar, Tamar packed up her large collection of instruments, except for her violin, and all of her clothes that didn't fit in her rucksack. She shipped her things to her family home, via Moshe & Mendel's Jew Harp, Tsatske aun Muzik Krom, from their store in New New York to their store in First Landing.

The Wednesday before Purim, Tamar woke early. She fidgeted around the apartment for a while, with an air of anticipation. She was looking forward to meeting with Baruch and Shmuli on the street near where they eat lunch.

Right before leaving her apartment, Tamar wiggled the mezuzah that hung by her bedroom door, causing the top nail to fall out so that it was hanging loosely, upside-down by the bottom nail. She smiled to herself. She skipped across her living room and headed down the stairs.

Tamar set up on her regular mitvokh corner to play her violin. She arrived earlier than usual. She played with, perhaps, more spirit and more passionately than usual. The crowd of listeners was larger than normal and her violin case filled with banknotes.

Tamar kept looking off to her left, where Baruch and Shmuli always come from. She kept visualizing their presence on the street as if wishing it to be so would bring them sooner. When the yeshiva bochers approached, Tamar stopped playing mid song and spoke to them breathlessly.

"I was so hoping that you would come today," she said as if there was anything unusual about them walking down that street after mitvokh lunch at their usual delicatessen. "I have a problem. I need your help," Tamar said emphatically as she packed up her violin.

The yeshiva bochers were concerned and assured Tamar that they would help her in any way they could. They asked her what was bothering her.

Tamar took a deep breath and spoke directly to the two young men, looking from one face to another, deeply into their eyes.

"A mezuzah in my apartment has fallen halfway off. It is hanging upside down by the bottom nail. It needs to be reattached. I want to be sure that it is hung correctly." Tamar sighed.

"Can you help me? Please?" Tamar smiled wanly at her two friends. What else could they do but follow Tamar back to the apartment above the bakery to lend their assistance and expertise.

Along the way, Baruch and Shmuli bickered over the laws and customs concerning the proper care and display of a mezuzah. There is the matter of the exact angle and if a berakhah needs to be said and what to do if the scroll has been damaged. They presented positions and counterpoints, quoting holy books, arguing the whole way there. Tamar walked ahead of them, smiling in anticipation of her unfolding plan.

Of course, the yeshiva bochers, once they were in the apartment, made short work of the repairs. Tamar thanked them profusely and suggested a small glass of whiskey to drink l'chaim and in honor of the mitzvah performed.

The young men were really not used to drinking whiskey. They were much more accustomed to the less potent schnapps, but under the circumstances they could not refuse.

The three friends, said a berakhah, drank l'chaim and l'chaim once more. Tamar suggested that they have tea and perhaps a little something to eat. "After all," she said, "it is still early in the day." Of course, Baruch and Shmuli acquiesced.

Tamar served majoun and an herbal tea concoction and continued to refill their whiskey glasses. Time became irrelevant as the various substances took effect. When the clock showed that it was time to daven mincha aun maariv, the young men could barely stand as they mumbled their way through the prayers.

The whiskey had Baruch and Shmuli sloshed. The hashish in the majoun distorted their sense of time. The herbal concoctions that Tamar served kept them awake and increased their strength and stamina in ways that they had never anticipated. As the night unfolded, Baruch and Shmuli became detached from the world that they knew. Everything seemed as if to be a dream.

Tamar asked the yeshiva bochers if they would like to see her Purim costume. She said that she wanted their opinions as to the propriety of the costume that she had chosen.

While Baruch and Shmuli sat on the living room sofa in a quite unfamiliar haze, Tamar turned down the electric lights and lit an aromatic candle, placing it on a shelf. Tamar then went into her bedroom to change.

When Tamar returned, she was wearing little besides gauze. Soon after that, she was wearing even less. Tamar knew that she was ovulating. The moment to fulfill that specific destiny was upon her. The two yeshiva bochers sat on the sofa, transfixed. They were both beyond rational thought.

When Baruch and Shmuli descended the apartment stairs and stumbled into the streets of Seaside Mea Shearim, morning was already approaching. The yeshiva bochers choose to daven shacharis in the privacy of their apartment. They skipped their regular Thursday minyan and Toyre reading.

Tamar wrapped herself in a comfortable bathrobe. She was absolutely sure that she was pregnant with twins. She was quite confident that both Baruch and Shmuli were very fertile and that their seeds were well placed.

Tamar brewed herself a cup of soothing herbal tea and sipped it contentedly while sitting on the sofa surrounded by fluffy pillows. Tamar stroked her abdomen and smiled.

This is not a Jewish story. It is, however, a story about Jews. One does not need to be Jewish to read this tale any more than one needs to be a Hobbit or an Elf to read Lord of the Rings.

This story is a work of fiction. The setting for this tale is in the distant future, on the far away Planet Birobidzhan. This planet was settled by Jewish exiles from Planet Earth.

The population of Planet Birobidzhan has been cut off from the Home Planet for a long time. They have developed their own unique culture, traditions and linguistics.

To make this story more accessible, I have included a glossary of words and phrases in Yiddish and Hebrew that are used as well as some explanations of religious terms and holidays.

I hope that readers find this to be useful.

The link to the Glossary is here:

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/a-useful-guide-glossary-to-planet.html?m=1

פּלאַנעט ביראָבידזשאַן

Do you want to read more about Planet Birobidzhan? Here are all the installments so far, in the order that they were posted. Just click your way through the story!

1 On A Planet Safe for Yidden

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/on-planet-safe-for-yidden.html

2 Yenne Velt: A History of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/yenne-velt-history-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

3 Another Globe, Perhaps?

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/another-globe-perhaps.html

4 Bereshis: The Transport & Transformation of the Founders

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/bereshis-transport-transformation-of.html

5 The Town of First Landing

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/the-town-of-first-landing.html

6 A Personal History of an Early Settler on Planet Birobidzhan

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/05/a-personal-history-of-early-settler-on.html