21st Century Bogatyr: July 2022

Friday, July 29, 2022

The Octogenarian and the Youngster

by Zvi Baranoff

It is generally acknowledged that those younger than thirteen cannot enter into contractual relationships on their own. While it is not unheard of for those as young as ten to become apprenticed, that sort of contract is usually initiated by the youth's parents.

When the man from First Landing known as Der Profesor knocked on the door with a briefcase containing an apprenticeship contract, everyone was caught unaware except for Dovid, of course…because the contract was his idea.

Unbeknownst to his mother, Dovid had, since he was seven, been regularly walking the three miles - and occasionally catching a ride on a goat cart - commuting from his small shtetl to the airport in First Landing almost daily. There, he met with the members of the Birobidzhan Pilots' Association and learned to build and fly model airplanes.

Der Profesor was the honored patriarch of the Birobidzhan Pilots' Association. An old man by any measure, he maintained a library at the airport and served as a mentor to the youngsters that showed particular promise.

Dovid was the youngest of those that gathered at the First Landing Airport. He could disassemble and improve on all the working models. He could troubleshoot and repair the broken ones. He was working his way through the books in the library. In his "spare time" Dovid was teaching himself English and German.

It was no wonder that Der Profesor took a liking to Dovid. Der Profesor was a wellspring of knowledge and it was little wonder that the boy was drawn to such an inspiration.

It should be noted that it was after the trance-like experience that Dovid's interest in flight turned to rockets. The simple camaraderie of the Pilots' Association was no longer enough for the boy. He needed to know the how of rocketry and the intricacies of intergalactic travel. That required study, research and experimentation. And that required the guidance of Der Profesor.

Of course, the immigration ships that brought settlers from the Home Planet to Planet Birobidzhan nearly two centuries earlier were designed for one way travel. On arrival, they were stripped for useful parts and repurposed to support the settlement. Much of First Landing has a shanty town feel to it precisely because so much of the city is built from repurposed transport ships.

At the time, it was presumed that travel from Planet Birobidzhan would commence at some future time when the settlement was completed and intergalactic trade was plausible. However, the new arrivals of immigration ships simply ended and contact with the Home Planet was severed without warning.

The First Landing Airport is developed on the original landing field. It now serves as a transportation hub for our limited airplane service. Additionally, there are the observatory facilities that now mostly serve amateur astronomers.

There is also the substantial library that features thousands of books and most of the computer systems from the initial Hatikvah ship, which were quite extensive, as well as some of the limited computer equipment from the subsequent automated transports. This is the library that is sustained by the Pilots Association and is under the guiding hand and tutelage of Der Profesor.

So, after meeting with Dovid's parents and discussion that largely went beyond their comprehension, the contract was signed by Der Profesor and Dovid's mother.

From then forward, Dovid's time in the cheder was reduced to just a few hours a week and the greater part of his education came officially and directly under the supervision of Der Profesor.

The octogenarian and the youngster were often seen taking long walks together. They spoke to each other on the widest variety of intellectual topics, casually shifting between Yiddish, English and German. They mostly ignored those around them when walking through the city streets, absorbed in their exchange.

As Dovid grew taller and Der Profesor continued to age, the old man would lean on the boy for stability as they walked. Der Profesor was well versed in all sorts of esoteric knowledge and young Dovid's mind was a sponge.

Their discussions invariably focused on space travel, various fuels and energy sources, galactic mapping and rocketry. How they approached these subjects, however, was rarely direct. For instance, in Greek mythology, Daedalus formed wings from wax to enable flight. His son, Icarus, suffered by flying too close to the sun. Der Profesor insisted that Dovid absorbed the lessons that the mythology had to offer possible intergalactic travellers.

The Flight of Icarus

We are blessed with two kinds of flies on Planet Birobidzhan. Both are incredibly annoying, quite plentiful and they are both well adapted to the environment.

The one that we call a ferd flig or horse-fly tend towards individualized torture and biting. Those that we call hoyz flig or house-fly swarm and buzz one's eyes and nose.

Neither species is native to Planet Birobidzhan. Neither were imported intentionally.

We do have houses on Planet Birobidzhan but the house flies do not show any particular preference to our homes. Perhaps they were more inclined to houses back on Earth.

As far as horse-flies are concerned, perhaps they had an affinity for the creatures called horses back on Earth.

We have no horses here. I am no more familiar with a horse than I am with a Leviathan or a whale or a bear or a unicorn or a kitten. And yet, after all these years and the unfathomable space distance, each of these still seem to influence our lives.

Besides the ferd flig, we say that an industrious man "works like a horse" and we give our children hobby-horses to play with. The rabbis speak of the Leviathan as if they have personal experiences with it. We may say that a fat person is "as large as a whale". Teddy Bears and other sorts of beralas are in our toy stores and in every child's nursery. We call our dearest children Ketscheles as if kittens were something we know and love.

I assume that unicorns, however, are mythological, although perhaps they once lived on Earth as well. Perhaps when the Moshiach comes and we are transferred to a Yenne Velt - a better world, we hope - we will once again know those creatures and perhaps even unicorns.

It is plausible that the flies arrived with the first settlers on the Hatikvah, but that seems highly unlikely. Even if pests of these sorts had found a way onto that flight, we can rightly assume that the volunteers aboard, with plenty of free time on their hands, would have found a way to exterminate such during the nearly eighteen years of traveling.

It is more plausible that flies arrived with the Zoologisher Gortn on the transport that is colloquially known as Noah's Ark. The most likely pathway was for larvae to have traveled in the digestive tracts of the cryogenically preserved animals that were sent to us to populate our zoo.

That the Agency determined that our barely settled planet was somehow in need of a Zoo is really quite curious. Over the years, there has been an incredible amount of speculation concerning their decision making process. The prevailing consensus is that some degree of payola must have been involved.

The animals that were chosen for us by the promoters and organizers of our settlement were breeding pairs of a wide variety of Earth mammals. None were domesticated creatures. No pets. No working animals. No livestock. Also, no sea creatures as we were not equipped for an aquarium and no very large animals such as the elephants or even the larger wild cats because of the limited transport space.

As near as we can guess, the animals were chosen to have no practical use. Nonetheless, there were a few attempts to find practical uses for the gift we received from the Home Planet.

Various wild sheep and goats have been bred and are being raised on farms with some success.

There is also a farm that has been raising zebras for nearly two centuries with a vague hope to turn them into something pony-like. With an awful lot of encouragement, zebras can be convinced to pull a wagon with a light load. Of course, goats are easier to train and cost less to keep.

A male mountain lion broke free from confinement, dwelling in the unsettled or lightly settled outskirts of First Landing for a good part of a year, before returning to free his mate. The resulting pack that soon came to be wreaked havoc on goat herds and chicken flocks until the mountain lions were hunted down and exterminated.

A pair of lemurs slipped out and found sanctuary in a forested area not far from town. The lemurs were fruitful and multiplied. They have adapted so well that many people assume that the lemurs are actually native to Planet Birobidzhan.

One summertime Shabbos, shortly before Dovid's thirteenth birthday, the boy went for a long walk on his own. He walked through the forest where the lemurs lived and past the zebra ranch.

From just beyond the zebra ranch, one can see the mountain where the cold stream originates that runs into the valley and towards the ocean. Parts of the stream can be seen but much of it is obscured, blocked by rolling hills and stretches of forests.

The day was hot and Dovid was being pestered by both kinds of flies, seemingly taking turns. He headed into a shady cove of trees, seeking some relief from the flies and the hot sun. There, he found mushrooms growing and the cloud of flies parted, leaving the boy in peace.

It had been nearly a year since he had last found and eaten any. As in the other times, the mushrooms seemed to speak personally to Dovid and direct him. He harvested their flesh and chewed upon it in the cool shade.

There he sat, calmly waiting for the trance-like stage to begin. A light breeze blew through the valley below. A mist cleared and in a bend of the stream a clear pool of water came into view.

This was the swimming hole where the young kibbutzniks swam naked. Despite the distance, the young woman came into focus with an unparalleled clarity. Dovid was certain that this was his Bathsheba.

He looked on from the distance, feeling drawn to another as never before. The mist returned, covering the swimming hole and obscuring his view. As this happened, the full effect of the mushrooms took hold. He sat there for hours, disconnected from the physical world around him.

This is not a Jewish story. It is, however, a story about Jews. One does not need to be Jewish to read this tale any more than one needs to be a Hobbit or an Elf to read Lord of the Rings.

This story is a work of fiction. The setting for this tale is in the distant future, on the far away Planet Birobidzhan. This planet was settled by Jewish exiles from Planet Earth.

The population of Planet Birobidzhan has been cut off from the Home Planet for a long time. They have developed their own unique culture, traditions and linguistics.

The language spoken on Planet Birobidzhan is primarily Yiddish. I have sprinkled a significant number of Yiddish words and phrases throughout the telling of the tale. I also refer to various Jewish religious and cultural touchstones.

To make this story more accessible, I have included a glossary of words and phrases in Yiddish and Hebrew that are used as well as some explanations of religious terms and holidays.

I hope that readers find this to be useful.

The link to the Glossary is here:

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/a-useful-guide-glossary-to-planet.html?m=1

פּלאַנעט ביראָבידזשאַן

Do you want to read more about Planet Birobidzhan? Here are all the posted installments so far, in the order that they were posted. Just click your way through the story!

1 On A Planet Safe for Yidden

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/on-planet-safe-for-yidden.html

2 Yenne Velt: A History of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/yenne-velt-history-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

3 Another Globe, Perhaps?

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/another-globe-perhaps.html

4 Bereshis: The Transport & Transformation of the Founders

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/bereshis-transport-transformation-of.html

5 The Town of First Landing

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/the-town-of-first-landing.html

6 A Personal History of an Early Settler on Planet Birobidzhan

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/05/a-personal-history-of-early-settler-on.html

7 Chickens, Jews Harps & Cronyism

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/cronyism.html

8 Dovid's Neshumeh

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/dovids-neshumeh.html

9 The Octogenarian and the Youngster

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/07/the-octogenarian-and-youngster.html

10 An Otherworldly Havdalah

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/an-otherworldly-havdalah.html

11 The Courtship & Marriage of Bathseba

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-courtship-marriage-of-bathseba.html

12 A Job, an Apartment & Two Honeymoons

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/a-job-apartment-two-honeymoons.html

13 The Pathway Into the Stars

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/the-pathway-into-stars.html

14 Abi Guzunt

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/08/abi-guzunt.html

15 A Dozen or So…

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/10/a-dozen-or-so.html

16 Tamar's Sketchbook

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/tamars-sketchbook.html?m=1

17 An Apologetic Interlude in the Galactic Tale

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/an-apologetic-interlude-in-galactic-tale.html?m=1

18 Tamar's Mushrooms

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/11/tamars-mushrooms.html?m=1

19 Intergalactic Travel Can Not Be Done on the Cheap

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/intergalactic-travel-can-not-be-done-on.html?m=1

20 Unauthorized Fire on Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/unauthorized-fire-on-planet-birobidzhan.html?m=1

21 Tamar and the Klezmorim of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/tamar-and-klezmorim-of-planet.html

22 Heresy, Flimflam and Death

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/12/heresy-flimflam-and-death.html?m=1

23 On a Distant Planet, An Apartment in the City by the Sea

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/on-distant-planet-apartment-in-city-by.html?m=1

24 The Girl with a Fiddle on Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-girl-with-fiddle-on-planet.html

25 Tamar and the Scholars of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/tamar-and-scholars-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

26 The Tropics of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-tropics-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

27 The Beaches and Coastal Shtetls of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-beaches-and-coastal-shtetls-of.html

28 A Pre-launch Reunion

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/a-pre-launch-reunion.html

29 The Launch Was Imminent

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/the-launch-was-imminent.html

30 Liftoff Into the Unknown

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/liftoff-into-unknown.html

31 Across the Void, Down a Wormhole & Into the Snow

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/across-void-down-wormhole-into-snow.html

32 Flourishing on Planet Shney

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/flourishing-on-planet-shney.html

Thursday, July 21, 2022

Dovid's Neshumeh

by Zvi Baranoff

Dovid's mother certainly tried to tie him to her apron strings. When he was a little pisher, she seemingly was held by an emotional bond to him unlike that of any of his eight older siblings.

She fondled him and used terms of endearment. She breastfed him more often and weaned him more reluctantly and much later than any of the rest of her brood. Dovid's momma also postponed enrolling him into a cheder until he was very nearly five.

Maybe it had something to do with his neshumeh, his inner spark, that was her reason to treat this child differently than the others.

Perhaps it had more to do with his mother's firm decision that this child would be the end of her cycles of birthing. After his birth, the midwife's assistant visited often and began supplying her with the herbal tea blend that kept her menstruation regular, freeing her from the blessing or curse of pregnancy.

So, night after night, Dovid slept with one hand on his mother's breast and the heels of his feet digging into her husband's ribs. This went on, almost as if it was a plan.

Any effort on his mother's part to keep him at home, however, had no long term effects.

When Dovid turned three, he still had eight siblings below the age of Bar Mitzvah. He had plenty of role models for mischief seeking and for avoiding parental authority. Beyond that, a passion for adventure burned so brightly inside of him that it was nearly impossible to conceal or suppress.

Beginning before he was even out of diapers, Dovid had an uncanny ability to disconnect, dismantle and reverse engineer everything within reach. He would bend, break, remold, mangle and chew on everything. He wanted to know how everything worked and what everything tasted like.

It is not uncommon for children to ask "Why?" repetitively. Dovid, however, rarely did so. What Dovid would ask is "How?" He wanted to know, for instance, what made clocks tick and would find out - often to the frustration of the clock's owner.

And, in spite of a late beginning at cheder Dovid mastered the Aleph Beis and was an exemplary reader quite early. He quickly worked his way through the melamed's books and the knowledge that the melamed had to offer. The teacher was quite aware that his young pupil was destined for advanced studies beyond the limited walls of that cheder.

One day, when Dovid was ten, he was found lying on the ground. His eyes were wide open but he exhibited no obvious awareness of his surroundings nor of the worried family and neighbors that encircled him. He was carried, in this condition, back home. A doctor, a rabbi and an herbalist were summoned.

Hours passed with the doctor checking Dovid's pulse, temperature, reflexes, etc. The rabbi prayed. The herbalist made a relaxing tea to calm the anxious family.

The doctor suspected that Dovid was suffering from a fit connected to some form of latent epilepsy. The rabbi hypothesized that Dovid was possibly possessed by a dybbuk. The herbalist expressed no opinion and continued to care for the frayed nerves of the worried family.

After several hours Dovid sat up and looked around, smiling contentedly. Then, he closed his eyes and slept peacefully. A broad series of medical tests were performed on the child over the following weeks. No cause for the incident could be determined.

Dovid told none of them about the mushrooms he had eaten or the visions that he had experienced. It was many years before he let anyone know about those experiences. He was, after his initial encounter with the fungi, very careful to conceal his experimentations and assure that he was in a secure place before again ingesting the mushrooms and entering into trance-like conditions.

On the Home Planet, over the tens or hundreds of thousands of years that humanity dwelled there, the flora and fungi were pretty well understood. Through generation after generation of experimentation, we knew which are edible and which are poisonous as well as the ones that had medical value or psychoactive potential.

Planet Birobidzhan doesn't have the thousands of years of human experience. Our presence here is a mere blink of an eye. We brought the seeds and cuttings from Earth to assure our needs.

The flora of Planet Birobidzhan are still mostly a mystery to us and the fungi even more so. Only a relatively handful of plants are considered to be safe for human consumption. Many are known to be poisonous. Children are sternly warned against eating random plants and to refrain from even touching the fungi.

What compelled Dovid to eat the mushrooms of Planet Birobidzhan? It seems that they called out to him and he answered their call.