21st Century Bogatyr: Heresy, Flimflam and Death

by Zvi Baranoff

It was valid for Der Profesor and Dovid to be cautious about the swirling rumors that they were fostering a Neo Sabbatai Zevi Cult, but probably not for them to be overly concerned.

There were the occasional uttered underbreath accusations of Apikores. No formalized charges were ever lodged. No grievances at all were ever brought before any rabbinic court. Generally, the discretion of their inner circle and the rabbis on the payroll were able to keep chatter about heresy and apostasy to a minimum.

A bigger ongoing danger to Dovid, Der Profesor, the corporation and the project was that the financial house of cards that they were building would collapse before the retrofitted Hatikvah was launched. It was essential for the viability of the project that investors were to be kept utterly in the dark. The financing was a total sham.

The investors wanted to reconnect with the Home Planet. In order to access investor gelt, that is what was promised to them. None of the money was spent for that purpose. Not a shekel was ever intended for such a foolhardy endeavor.

What the public was told and what actually was being done were very different. The corporation promised a dual-track strategy. One ship, investors were told, was to be sent on an exploratory mission, seeking out potential profits to be derived from nearby planets. A second ship, investors were assured, would be sent on a diplomatic and trade mission to the Home Planet, Planet Earth.

Adjacent to the Hatikvah stood another ancient ship. To all outward appearances both ships were actively being retrofitted. Supplies were delivered and craftsmen could be seen coming and going to each of the ships. However, mostly empty crates were delivered to the second ship and no real work was actually done on the interior of that craft.

The dedicated crew of gonifs and schnorrers worked diligently to make sure that the operation was funded. They were truly committed to the cause. They never let moral considerations get in the way of doing what needed to be done.

Secrets, of course, are difficult to keep. The more people involved in a conspiracy, the more difficult it is to keep it under wraps. There were hundreds of people involved in this operation. The work dragged on for a very long time. Nonetheless, the co-conspirators were a tight knit, intensely loyal group and there were very few leaks.

What probably helped the most to protect the financial reality and the true motives of the conspirators from too much scrutiny, leading to the flimflam becoming common knowledge, was Der Profesor's stellar reputation.

Der Profesor was, no doubt, one of the most widely respected people to have ever lived on any planet. Planet-wide, people knew and trusted

Der Profesor. They trusted him unreservedly and extended that unreserved trust to his associates, as long as Der Profesor remained visibly at the helm of the operation.

Der Profesor lived a long and productive life. We bless each other with the hope of one-hundred and twenty years. Few people obtain that age but Der Profesor came close.

Der Profesor was well into eighties when Dovid first crossed his path and decades had passed since that eventful day. There were signs of his aging and slowing down but Der Profesor remained healthy, cognizant and vibrant until the very end.

Der Profesor and Dovid were playing chess in the library. As usual, Der Profesor was winning. Most uncharacteristically, Der Profesor apologized for feeling tired midgame, excused himself and went to bed.

The next morning, when Der Profesor did not appear for breakfast, Dovid went to his room to check on him. Der Profesor was sitting in bed reading when Dovid let himself in. Der Profesor smiled wanly. "I have been waiting for you," he told Dovid. "I wanted to talk with you before I go."

"Going, but…" Dovid started but Der Profesor weakly lifted a hand to silence him.

"No one lives forever. I have lived a long life in this world and now I am ready for the Yeder Velt, the World to Come." This Der Profesor said and then he and Dovid were both quiet for a while before Der Profesor continued speaking.

"Do you remember the day that I first met you, when you were a little pisher that could barely dress himself?"

"Of course I do," Dovid responded while blushing slightly. "You straightened out my suspenders and tied my shoes."

"Do you remember what I told you that day?" Der Profesor asked.

"You said that I should always remember that I am smarter than my suspenders and that I should be careful not to fall over my own feet," Dovid replied.

"Well," said Der Profesor, "that is still true and that is the best advice that I can give you." Der Profesor closed his eyes and spoke no more. His breathing slowed and then ceased.

The funeral held for Der Profesor was one of the largest ever on Planet Birobidzhan. Der Profesor was buried in his family plot alongside his wife and near other family members including some of his children.

As far as the expedition planned for the Hatikvah was concerned, fortunately the time of launching was quickly approaching. The protective shield that Der Profesor provided for the operation was no longer in place. The grumbling of investors became much louder almost immediately after his funeral. Many were beginning to believe that they may have been swindled.

A few weeks later Dovid received a message from his mother. She needed to see him immediately. He put aside what he was doing and went to the family home. For years that house had mostly been occupied by his mother alone. His father came and went.

When Dovid arrived, his mother was in the kitchen. On the sofa, there was a body covered with a sheet. Dovid's mother barely looked away from the dishes that she was washing when she spoke. "I need your help arranging a funeral," she told him and she tilted her chin towards the sofa.

At once Dovid grasped that his father had passed away. He gave his mother a hug. "Of course, Momma, I can help with that," Dovid told her. "Should I stay here while we sit Shiva for Tate?"

Dovid's mother stopped what she was doing and looked directly into her son's eyes. Then she spoke without emotion. "I did not love that man. I was married to him so I am responsible for burying him. I certainly will not sit Shiva for him."

"You do know that he was not really your father, right? There is no reason for you to say Kadish for that man, much less tear your clothes and other mishegoss. But," she concluded, "we do need to bury him." She went back to washing dishes.

Dovid made all of the arrangements for the funeral. The funeral was attended by his mother, all of her children and a handful of her husband's ne'er-do-well dreidl-spinning gambling buddies.

After the funeral, babka, tea and schnapps were served in the family home. The gambling buddies left when the booze ran out and his mother sent the family off so she could, at last, be alone.

Dovid returned to his house by the airport. The house felt very empty now, with Der Profesor no longer there and most of his children grown and raising families of their own. His favorite daughter, Tamar, was traveling with the klezmorim. Dovid checked on his wives. They were both sleeping.

Dovid sat in his library. He drank whiskey by himself until he fell asleep.

This is not a Jewish story. It is, however, a story about Jews. One does not need to be Jewish to read this tale any more than one needs to be a Hobbit or an Elf to read Lord of the Rings.

This story is a work of fiction. The setting for this tale is in the distant future, on the far away Planet Birobidzhan. This planet was settled by Jewish exiles from Planet Earth.

The population of Planet Birobidzhan has been cut off from the Home Planet for a long time. They have developed their own unique culture, traditions and linguistics.

The language spoken on Planet Birobidzhan is primarily Yiddish. I have sprinkled a significant number of Yiddish words and phrases throughout the telling of the tale. I also refer to various Jewish religious and cultural touchstones.

To make this story more accessible, I have included a glossary of words and phrases in Yiddish and Hebrew that are used as well as some explanations of religious terms and holidays.

I hope that readers find this to be useful.

The link to the Glossary is here:

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2023/01/a-useful-guide-glossary-to-planet.html?m=1

פּלאַנעט ביראָבידזשאַן

Do you want to read more about Planet Birobidzhan? Here are all the installments so far, in the order that they were posted. Just click your way through the story!

1 On A Planet Safe for Yidden

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/on-planet-safe-for-yidden.html

2 Yenne Velt: A History of Planet Birobidzhan

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/yenne-velt-history-of-planet-birobidzhan.html

3 Another Globe, Perhaps?

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/02/another-globe-perhaps.html

4 Bereshis: The Transport & Transformation of the Founders

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/bereshis-transport-transformation-of.html

5 The Town of First Landing

https://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/03/the-town-of-first-landing.html

6 A Personal History of an Early Settler on Planet Birobidzhan

http://21stcenturybogatyr.blogspot.com/2022/05/a-personal-history-of-early-settler-on.html